Beyond Perfectionism


Perfectionism—It is a disease of control.

I’m super familiar with that that I had a membership in perfectionism and control my whole life and here’s the thing that makes it so insidious—is that when we control our life so much whether it’s controlling our relationship, control ourselves, control how we’re coming across, control our children, control our conversations with people, control every part of our lives because we need it to be perfect because if it wasn’t perfect, we would feel uncomfortable.

When we come from that place, it has to be fueled with anxiety to have that level of control. We’re not talking about control here in terms of dominance over someone. It’s kinda like a passive control. Control where I have to think so much about how I’m showing up, on how I’m coming across because my main intention, my main driver is to be like, is to get it perfect, is to get it right.

I am so familiar with this space and here’s what I know —is when we’re coming from perfectionism, when we have to control everything about who we are and how we come across because it feels so damn scary not to. It strangles our freedom. It’s like, rings the life out of the potential and the possibility of juiciness. It drives up our life. It cuts off our soul and our spirit, so there’s no space for our spirit and our soul to speak through us when we’re stuck up in here on how things should be.

How things should be is like the polar opposite to allowing stuff to come through. We can’t have both together. These are not mutually compatible.

Today with this video and sitting here with my friends videoing, yesterday, what I would have normally spent the whole day scripting stuff out and then I realized that this is not an alignment with my truth anymore. I wanted to be on the set here and to share with you from the heart rather than heavy written script out and then anxiety and I felt into it and it felt uncomfortable.

The comfortable thing for me is the certain thing. The comfortable thing for me has been around having every part of my life so scripted out that I would know and be certain of what outcome I was getting.

But here’ the thing, we’re not coming from that space with my kids, we’re not coming from the space with our husband, we’re not coming from the space in conversation with people. There is no space that just allows like beauty and spontaneity and fun and freedom to come through. And life has a very different quality.

So… I’m inviting you, I’m calling you, I’m encouraging you to really have an honest look for yourself and look at where are you expecting yourself to be a certain way so that you can be happy of yourself.

Have a look at… where’s your emotional home. We all have an emotional signature where we hang out and for me, the predominant emotions of my life that have run me have been the anxiety and guilt. The anxiety and guilt is what can fuel control, can fuel perfectionism. ‘Cause that anxiety has us constantly radar ring for where are we missing stuff. Where is the gap. Where do we need to make things better. Make it more perfect.

The guilt… It’s like, drives us to be continue looking at. What have we done wrong. Where do we need to get it better.

If you can relate to that as your emotional signature and I’m not talking about the front part of your personality that you’re showing the world. I’m not talking about that part. ‘Cause we can show a very different aspect of ourselves to the world to what actually experience underneath.

My front part of my personality has always been in the past, that polished person. Now that covered up the actual experience of guilt. The actual experience of anxiety that drive out to get things perfect.

So… I’m inviting you take an honest look of yourself. Where is your emotional home being and what’s driving that. Why are you wanting to get things so perfect. And are you willing to actually let go and sharpen your truth. It takes courage but guess what, on the other side, there is just so much juicy freedom that you couldn’t even imagine from where you’re sitting.

Please have the courage. Please have the willingness. The world doesn’t need more control. The world doesn’t need more driven perfectionism. We need more people connected to the truth and having these soul speak through them. We need to be guided from a very different place.

If this is ringing a message with you, please SHARE with your friends. We need to have more people connected at a different level rather than here. And if you are on YouTube, SUBSCRIBE. If you’re not on Youtube, come over to my Youtube channel to subscribe and have a stunning day!

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Showing 2 comments
  • Cee Lee Reed

    Thank you for this. I needed this reminder.

    • Henare and Kate
      Henare and Kate

      You’re very much welcome Cee Lee! Feel free to visit for FREE training. xx

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